I know it's late, but I wanted to post something for Memorial Day. I love our country. I love every inspired event that lead to what we have today. The greatest way I could think of observing this holiday was to reread the Gettysburg address. And call to thank some veterans, but as Memorial Day is dedicated to the ones that died I would like to post both Abraham Lincoln's historic and inspired speech and a link to a song that I think captures the spirit of the holiday.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great Civil War, testing whether that nation, so founded, or any nation so conceived and dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle field of war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But in a larger sense we cannot dedicate-we can not consecrate-we can not hallow-this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which those who fought here have so nobly advanced. It is rather for us the living to be dedicated to the great task remaining before us-that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave their last full measure of devotion-that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain-that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom-and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from this earth.

I would like to note that I don't think the fight is finished. This is one of those things we have to do every day. This song has long been a favorite of mine, and I dedicate it to my Grandpa Terry who gave more than I could ever know.

Some Gave All

Oh I see!

Vision correction has always been interesting to me. Well, ever since I needed it. So the other night I took out my contacts and went to put my glasses on. I opened my glasses case but didn't feel my glasses. Bringing the case up to my nose, I realized that yes, they were not in the case. Now normally I could have looked for my glasses, but since I can't see without my glasses, that would be kind of pointless. So I can't see to find my corrective lenses. Is it just me that finds this to be a catch 22? P. S. I did find my glasses after I put my contacts back in.

On my knees

I have to say that I like my body. It is not perfect, but it's mine and I like it. I just wish that it liked me too.

A few years ago I got in a few accidents and my knee had the opportunity to sacrifice itself for me. I will be forever greatful, but unfortunately there are consequenses. My knee has kind of a self-serving attitude, and feels the need to remind me of the injury from time to time. Tonight is one of those times.

I would like to reconcile with my knee. I have done everything I know of. Brace, ice, runner's candy (Ibuprofen) but nothing is working. Hey, I like my knee just fine. Why can't it just accept that and get over the leeetle issue of a few surgeries and be nice to me? Just wonderin'.

Date with Destiny

Hey all! Don't you just wish this blog was going to be as exciting as the title makes it sound? Today in RS we were talking about preparedness through finding employment. It occurred to me how similar finding a vocation is to finding a spouse. At this exact moment in my life, I'm not too concerned about the whole spouse thing, but a vocation is always a good thing. Here are the similarities between the two that I found

• Any righteous man and woman can make a marriage work. We've all heard that quote a million times, admit it. But the truth is that some personalities just work better together than others. Sometimes, no matter how righteous you both are, you just don't sustain each other merely because of the ways you are different. Other times you find a companion that you feel good around, and you want to be with them no matter what your differences are. Well today one girl said she wanted to be a mechanical engineer. Gag me, that is a circle of hell. Can you imagine spending the rest of your life doing math? Now that is honest work, and I'm sure she will be happy in it. I'm also sure if the Lord would assist me (a LOT) I could make that work as my career. However, my personality is so much better suited to the careers I've chosen for myself. So I pass up a perfectly wonderful honest career and everything it has to offer, and instead choose another equally wonderful career.


• It's okay to explore. I've heard the statistic that the average college student changes their major 2.5 times. I think this is similar to the exploration known as dating. For instance, I took several psychology classes, and courted the idea of working in a battered women's and children's shelter. This is a very good vocation, but we had to break up because I realized I couldn't do it. I think it is good to try some ideas on for size, spend time with them, and get to know them, until you find the one that is good for you


• I so look forward to the perfect job, and I intend to have it. But that perfection will still include bad days. Some days nothing will go as planned, in a bad way, and I will be handling thing poorly. The good thing about bad days, when you are in the right place and doing the right thing, is that they pass. Bad days will happen early in your employed life, and after you've been there most of your life.


• Finally, understanding that things will change. I have talked to a lot of people about there long-lived working life, and they have all told me that the job changed over time, or there responsibilities have changed over time. Just like relationships change over time, hopefully for the better, but change for sure.

I don't know what the correlation means, but I find it interesting that there are so many correlations. The good news is that I can take all the relationship and marriage advice and understanding I have, and put it into something that is pertinent to me.

Book Review

Last night was very trying for me, and I handled it in typical Jana fashion. I curlled up with a book that seems like a friend. You can become so familiar with a book that every word in it is familiar, like comfort food only less fattening.

"The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" is right in the middle of the Chronicles of Narnia. I read it as #3, but I know most people now-a-days consider it #5, but either way it's really good. The first line in it "There was a boy named Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it"

This one is about King Caspian, the two younger kids, and their cousin Eustace, as they sail out to the eastern end of the world, searching for 7 people that went into hiding 10 years ago. On there adventures they find a cave that turns people into what they are in their hearts, and a river that finds what's underneath. They find another river that has the Midas power, and dicover the difference between the worth of an object, and the worth of a soul. They learn about what governs a God, and why someone with those powers does the things He does.

I have always loved the personifications C.S. Lewis puts into the Chronicles (i.e. "The birtch was the graceful and majestic lady of the wood, watching the Lords of the Sky (stars) tread their celestial dance) and this book brings that up to a whole new level. Somtimes I get lost in how poetic it sounds, and forget to wonder what the point of the story is. But when you really listen with your spiritual ears, so many eternal truths are between those pages.

I was reading about a wizard (I think a prophet figure in this book) named Coriarkin who is very unpopular with the people he has been given charge over because he makes so many unreasonable demands. He wants them to draw water from the stream 1/2 a mile away rather than walk 5 miles to the well several times a day. More importantly, he wants them to grow a garden, since there is no contact with the world off the island. It made me think that as human beings we can have a tendancy to complain about comandments, but really Heavenly Father's only purpose is to help us be happy. Every comandment ever given has been to that end.

I would love if all my blog readers could tell me what gems they have found in this wonderful story. I would love to look at it from new angles, like the lifelong friend that can still suprise you.

Overcoming Depression

Recently I've talked to many people who are depressed, and I want to help. Sometimes when people are venting, it is the wrong time to jump in and give advice. When they say they want someone to listen, they need to talk, they are not receptive to advice. I think that's fairly true of everyone. My experiences with depression anxiety disorder may not translate to anyone else, so if they don't apply to you don't use them. On the other hand, if there is a common thread, please take from here anything you find helpful.

I feel the single most important factor in overcoming depression is the righteous use of agency. Depression takes away some agency in how we feel and think. It does not take away our agency in what we do, but Satan would like to make us think it does. The temptation to stay in bed is overwhelming on some days, maybe even most days, but the choice to get out of bed is strike one against Satan's tactics. It's the first big step in not giving him power over you. Sometimes medication is needed to return agency. One thing that is very important to understand is that antidepressants can't and won't make you happy. They will return your agency to you so that you can make you happy.

Let us not make the mistake of thinking that people with depression/anxiety are not moving solely because they are apathetic. At least I had a million thoughts racing through my mind, and it took all my energy just to maintain the stream. At the same time, I had no idea how to stop the race. Depressed people are not apathetic because of laziness, on the contrary, they are working very hard just to exist from second to second.

There are two different kinds of choices: choosing not to do bad, and choosing to do good. I personally have trouble choosing to eat well, but I have less trouble with the choice to not have the whole pan of brownies (even though that one can be hard too.) I've heard many people say that you must replace a bad choice with a good choice, and I know that to be true, but in my experience I had to first commit to not making the bad choice. This decision in my life has usually been one of choosing not to act. Sometimes inaction is a lesser and safer evil. One such choice is the choosing of thoughts. We have to redirect, but we have to recognize our thoughts as bad first. The ones I have the most trouble with are where I am criticizing myself. It took me a while to learn that I have to get rid of those if they are dragging my spirit down. If they depress me it does not make any difference whether or not they are justified, because they dissuade me from change anyway.

But the best part about choosing not to do something bad is that it leaves the door wide open so that I can choose something good. After choosing not to eat the whole pan of brownies I could choose to eat some broccoli instead. But let's be honest, that's not too likely. It is more feasible for me to have one brownie and then choose to either eat a main course, or if I've already done that, choose to not eat anything until my next meal. After I choose not to cut myself down, I could try to praise myself, but that usually comes out sarcastic. I've found the best response in these moments is to focus on the present. Instead of berating myself about the past, or worrying how I am going to mess up in the future, I pick one homework assignment or activity, and just walk myself through that. Then my thoughts are geared toward action, the thing that will ultimately cause me to be better.

Why I Love Sara

Hi Sary! You are going to hate me for this post, but I have to write what's on my mind.

So why is the gorgeous and wonderful Sary Poppins Child on my mind? Because she is at my house, that's why! Sara is my cousin and friend since forever. Forever? You inquire. Probably I respond. Of course I can only go back as far as recorded history. Recorded history states:

There was this day, about 2000 years ago ( January of 1988 to be specific) when Scott and Kathy Christensen brought home a new baby girl. At least they began to, but they decided that they didn't want to go home and cook and stuff just yet, so they went to Cinda and Randy Child's place instead. They looked around for where to set me down in order to eat and visit. They found a crib, but there was a problem...it already had a 3 month old girl in it. What to do? They placed both girls in the same crib and went about their business. Little did they know they would be setting a life long precedent.

So now we are 22 and still spending time together. Doing what you may ask? Well, here are some examples:


You get the idea. Despite previous evidence, she is a serious person when the situation calls for it. Obviously, since she does well in nursing school, she has to be serious at some time. Sara has always been a very good student. In fact she tells me that having an A in a class gives you a lot more lisence to goof off to the teacher. Since she goofs off all the time and still does very well, I will take her word for it.

I have to say that even though I find Sara's dislike of so many good movies appaling, I am greatful to have her as a friend. She is the only one who can get me to act like a 20-something college student. I stop being uptight around her, and I let myeslf just let loose and have fun.

By the same token, she is the one that can get me to laugh when my sense of humor takes a nosedive. I don't know how she can make everything funny when I'm in a bad mood but somehow she does it. That is one of the few reasons I go shopping with her. Only the truest love could get me to go shopping, so Sary, you better milk it for all it's worth. Oh yeah, you already do.