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Sunday, October 30, 2011

Best Friends

I've been thinking a lot about what makes a best friend.  I have 3, but I want to focus on just one.  She might hate me for this, but we'll get over it.  We're best friends after all.  We are an unlikely pair.  Some of our deepest held beliefs are opposite.  Where she is extremely quiet most of the time, I am, let's just say not.  Our political standpoints couldn't have been further apart when we met.  So how are we best friends?  Here are my thoughts so far.

1) The history.  With every trial that I face, I go to her.  I just tell her what happened and she knows the rest.  After over 11 years of friendship she knows how everything will affect me.

2) BECAUSE we are so different.  In some ways I can read her mind, as she can mine.  I know her so well that I know how she reacts to just about anything, except when she surprises me.  That happens most times we talk.  How after 11 years can she still stop me dead in my tracks with a new thought?  I don't know, but I do know that listening to her has made me the person I am and continues to make me expand my view.

3) The trust.  This is the biggest one.  I know she loves who I really am.  No one, not even my family, knows me better than her.  She loves the good, the bad and the ugly.  Goodness knows she's seen all of them, and she's still around.  Victor Hugo once wrote: "The supreme happiness of life is in the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, in spite of ourselves."  I think she loves me for myself, even knowing my weakness.

The best part of a best friend is all these wonderful things I've written about her apply to me too.  The big word for it is "reciprocity."  I have total reciprocity with her.  Life's been throwing me some curveballs lately.  Tonight I told her all about them, and she listened.  Whenever she does that I feel confinent and content.  She gave me new insight, but mostly was just cheered me on.  I meet her needs in a different way sometimes, but I meet the same needs. 

I hope everyone gets a friendship like this.  They are lots and lots of work.  In the beginning a lot of forgiveness and acceptance of differences lays the foundation.  It's not always easy to make the time and to be as tactful as you should be.  At least I had a hard time at first.  But now I have a best friend that is a rock in all I do.  I have someone who supports me through the downs and celebrates with me on the ups, as I do for her.