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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Thankful for my Disability

I had a stroke before I was born.  Most of you who know me know I can't use my right side very well.  That's the way it's always been.  What you may not know is that I am so grateful Heavenly Father allowed me to have this body.  Some important things would be different in my life if I didn't have it.  Take a look:

1) Music

Without my disability I would be a prodigy.  I love music with my whole soul, and if my bow arm actually worked I'd be amazing.  I didn't practice 3 hours a day because someone made me.  I practiced 3 hours a day because I couldn't imagine doing anything else.  I never got exceptionally good because of my disability though.  Wait, isn't this a thankful post?  Yes. Yes it is.

No, I don't have to be on stage.  I have all the time in the world for this
If I had been good enough, I would have left everyone and everything behind to do music.  I love it with my whole soul, and I would have given up any religious commitments to get better.  I would have given up time with my family and friends, I would have done nothing but music.  Except that my disability prevented me.  My high school years were filled with friends, family and faith.  Now, my music has so much more depth to it because I have more depth.  I'm so glad my disability kept me from turning this beautiful gift into a curse.

2) Slowness

I can't run with my disability.  I will trip every single time.  Instead I have to walk wherever I go, and when I do that, I see things.  I see the people around me.  I see the sunset.  I see the street signs.  The world around me is so amazing, and when you walk, you can see it.  I get to be part of my surroundings.  How's that for a blessing?

When you have a while before the destination, the journey can become more fun.  Being slower often results in meeting new friends.  Being slower means being able to support others.  Being slower means I have more time to love where I am.

Yes, I love you.  Leave me alone

3) Choices

Most people have a gazillion options of what to do with there life.  I have a couple less.  I wanted to teach in Asia, but my disability prevents me.  I wanted to live in a really cute apartment with a cool set of girls, but the stairs wouldn't work for me.  I would love to be in musical theater, but my body just can't take the strain.  And I'm grateful for this.

The saddest thing to me is those who give their lives to things that don't matter.  They know what's really important, but they get caught up in the details and loose sight of what they want.  Unlike them, I can't add much fluff in my life.  Every choice I make about my time and energy is significant.  I don't have any to spare.  Because of my disability, the only things in my life are the ones that matter to me.

He is still that cute


I wouldn't wish this challenge on everyone.  In fact, I'm not sure I'd wish it on anyone.  But I am grateful I have it.  So many of life's greatest blessings are the ones we never would have asked for on our own.