Overcoming Depression

Recently I've talked to many people who are depressed, and I want to help. Sometimes when people are venting, it is the wrong time to jump in and give advice. When they say they want someone to listen, they need to talk, they are not receptive to advice. I think that's fairly true of everyone. My experiences with depression anxiety disorder may not translate to anyone else, so if they don't apply to you don't use them. On the other hand, if there is a common thread, please take from here anything you find helpful.

I feel the single most important factor in overcoming depression is the righteous use of agency. Depression takes away some agency in how we feel and think. It does not take away our agency in what we do, but Satan would like to make us think it does. The temptation to stay in bed is overwhelming on some days, maybe even most days, but the choice to get out of bed is strike one against Satan's tactics. It's the first big step in not giving him power over you. Sometimes medication is needed to return agency. One thing that is very important to understand is that antidepressants can't and won't make you happy. They will return your agency to you so that you can make you happy.

Let us not make the mistake of thinking that people with depression/anxiety are not moving solely because they are apathetic. At least I had a million thoughts racing through my mind, and it took all my energy just to maintain the stream. At the same time, I had no idea how to stop the race. Depressed people are not apathetic because of laziness, on the contrary, they are working very hard just to exist from second to second.

There are two different kinds of choices: choosing not to do bad, and choosing to do good. I personally have trouble choosing to eat well, but I have less trouble with the choice to not have the whole pan of brownies (even though that one can be hard too.) I've heard many people say that you must replace a bad choice with a good choice, and I know that to be true, but in my experience I had to first commit to not making the bad choice. This decision in my life has usually been one of choosing not to act. Sometimes inaction is a lesser and safer evil. One such choice is the choosing of thoughts. We have to redirect, but we have to recognize our thoughts as bad first. The ones I have the most trouble with are where I am criticizing myself. It took me a while to learn that I have to get rid of those if they are dragging my spirit down. If they depress me it does not make any difference whether or not they are justified, because they dissuade me from change anyway.

But the best part about choosing not to do something bad is that it leaves the door wide open so that I can choose something good. After choosing not to eat the whole pan of brownies I could choose to eat some broccoli instead. But let's be honest, that's not too likely. It is more feasible for me to have one brownie and then choose to either eat a main course, or if I've already done that, choose to not eat anything until my next meal. After I choose not to cut myself down, I could try to praise myself, but that usually comes out sarcastic. I've found the best response in these moments is to focus on the present. Instead of berating myself about the past, or worrying how I am going to mess up in the future, I pick one homework assignment or activity, and just walk myself through that. Then my thoughts are geared toward action, the thing that will ultimately cause me to be better.